How to make your Christmas less Overwhelming – Our Guide

Christmas……a word that can conjure up numerous thoughts and feelings. These can range from thankful, excited and hopeful all the way to lonely, depressed and hopeless. The challenges of Christmas and the negative impact it can have on our mental health is widely documented and I am yet to meet anyone who does not have a single worry or anxious thought about the festive period. So, remember, you are not the only person feeling this way!

Christmas is many different things to each of us and our experience of Christmas is very personal. Our beliefs around Christmas are formed though family traditions and experiences, cultural and religious backgrounds and social pressures. The one thing that we all have in common though, is that we need to get through it and hopefully come out the other side unscathed! It’s helpful to remember that Christmas is time limited and doesn’t last forever.

This blog aims to give you some hints and tips on how to make your Christmas a little less overwhelming and you feeling a little less Grinch. 🙂

Perspective

This is easy to lose when we are surrounded by Christmas. It consumes us for weeks, but just as quickly as it comes, it also disappears.  Challenging our own perspective and seeking an alternative viewpoint is a great tool and opens us up to more choice. More choice gives us more possibilities. Whatever the thought is, give yourself some space from it. Distract yourself for a while and then come back to it. It will often feel less intensive. A question I like to ask myself is “will this matter in 3-, 6- or 12-month’s time?” The answer is often no!

Boundaries

As we spend more time with family and friends over Christmas, it’s normal for our boundaries to be tested. Saying no doesn’t always come easy but it is a skill that you can learn and become more comfortable with. How do you spot if your boundary is being overstepped? Well, tuning into your gut feeling can really help with this. We will often feel anger, resentment or frustration when a boundary has been violated. Once you can figure out the reason why you feel a certain way it’s far easier to work out what to do next. Ask yourself “What am I feeling and why am I feeling it?” It can be helpful to practice saying no. Start off small with something that doesn’t push you out of your comfort zone too much. Interestingly, most people will respect and accept a boundary when it has been stated firmly and clearly. You can even practice it out loud in front of the mirror to get a feel for it 😊 If you’re struggling with a request from a friend or family member, ask yourself,” If I say “yes” to this person’s request, what am I saying “no” to for myself?

Comparison

As the saying goes, “Comparison is the thief of joy”. The second you put yourself up against someone (or their Christmas) you are inviting yourself to feel inferior and less than. Competition can be healthy, but let’s be honest, NO-ONE is going to give you a medal for winning at Christmas. There will always be someone who has less than you and someone who has more than you.  As with perspective, as soon as that tricky brain starts to compare, distract yourself and focus your energy on something more positive.

Gratitude

One of the simplest yet most effective ways of boosting our mental health in the moment. This easy hack can reduce stress, increase optimism and can change your brain. Practising gratitude can be done as many times a day as you want to, and in whatever way suits you. Personally, I do it whenever I sit down with my kids before we eat. We all pick 2 things we are thankful for and then explain why we are thankful for it. Thinking about the why helps to connect with the feeling and emotion behind it, which increases the feeling of gratitude. For example, “I’m grateful I played with my friends today because we had fun and they made laugh. This made me feel happy”. I also do this again just before I go to sleep. To increase the feeling of gratitude I imagine what life would be like without the person, experience or object I’m grateful for. At the time of writing this I am showing my appreciation for warm clothes and heating as winter kicks in!

And finally reach out

This can be to a family member or friend, or even to a free organisation such as the Samaritans on 116 123 or NHS 111. Both these will be able to support you if you are struggling and are available 24 hours a day. Please don’t underestimate how beneficial it can be to speak to someone who is independent from your situation and won’t tell you what to do or judge you. Counselling can provide a calm and peaceful space where together we can process and understand your thoughts and feelings so, please contact me if you’d like to have chat about how I can help you.

So as Christmas approaches, I invite you to do what works for you now and not what you think you “should” do. Your mind, body and bank balance will thank you for it 😊